Cheating can be one of the most painful experiences, leading to depression, domestic violence, breakups, divorce, or even homicide in some cases.
It is often portrayed as a simple black-and-white crime, but the motivations behind the actions are far more complex than you might think. There are many factors or reasons why your partner is cheating on you.
Your partner would cheat on you if you both feel out of control or hopeless, there are underlying relationship problems, your partner wants to be in control, or they may cheat due to some situational factors.
Is it something that happens to everyone, even in the best of relationships, or is it something that only happens to some? Why do people lie and cheat in the first place, and what drives them to do so?
To better understand why people cheat, whether you’re thinking about making a move or have been the victim of cheating, continue reading this article to find your path through the psychological facts about cheating.
12 Psychological Facts About Cheating You Should Know
Cheating. It’s one of the most infamous relationship killers and the ultimate relationship violation. However, not all situations are the same. Cheating is a routine, but it can also be linked to certain thought processes.
In previous generations, we don’t talk enough about the psychology of infidelity, although it’s a common occurrence.
But understanding how cheaters think can shed light on their motivations for breaking their partners’ trust and seeking intimacy elsewhere. Not every relationship can be saved by a cheating partner.
You can’t get anywhere without first understanding where you’re starting. What drives someone to cheat?
Here are the 12 known psychological facts why experts believe people cheat:
1. Cheating is never something that “happens by accident”
Yes, a person in a long-term relationship can cheat on their partner due to a variety of circumstances. It may “just happen” One-night stands and casual hookups with no strings attached can lead to infidelity.
When people have the opportunity to have multiple partners or a partner who won’t find out about the affair, they are more likely to cheat. Under these conditions, it’s necessary to take a risk.
A person who has uncharacteristically indulged in a one-night stand will have a different perspective on cheating than someone who is used to it. Despite this, cheaters aren’t given any respite.
2. You or your partner may feel out of control or hopeless
In a relationship, a partner may feel out of control or hopeless, but they don’t want to be angry or make a scene with their partner because of logistical reasons, such as having children, a lifestyle, or financial issues. They turn to another person to feel safe and secure.
3. Cheating can function as a revenge
Setting the score is another way of saying that someone has cheated. A passive-aggressive person may cheat on their partner to vent their resentment for their partner’s infidelity in a non-confrontational but still damaging manner.
4. Cheating may be a sign of underlying relationship problems
A cheater can have low self-esteem and a narcissistic outlook on life. When one person’s attention-seeking tendencies are satisfied, they may move on to another to meet their needs and validate their own identity.
Self-worth is lacking in them, so they keep moving from one person to the next in search of reassurance.
5. Cheating can be regarded as an outlet for frustration
Often, cheating is used as a way of coping with unresolved issues in a relationship. It’s not uncommon for people to cheat and avoid conflict when they’re frustrated with their relationship and feel like they’re not making any progress.
6. “Once a cheater, always a cheater”
If a cheater is willing to change, he/she will. It’s time to put an end to this myth once and for all. Cheating can occur for a variety of reasons, some of which we’ve already discussed. Just because someone has been caught cheating doesn’t mean they will continue to do so.
If an addict can overcome the most heinous of addictions, a person who has cheated on a significant other can be trusted to keep their word.
Only those who are serious about making a change, and not those who are open to the possibility that they may be unfaithful in the future, should consider this option.
The “offender” who engages in repeated cheating usually has unresolved psychological issues at the root of his or her behavior.
However, the “once a cheater, always a cheater” argument can be put on hold because of the sheer willpower and commitment required to change your life.
7. Cheating can be a last resort for fulfilling sexual needs
If their partner isn’t interested in sex or doesn’t meet their sexual needs, this could be the problem. They’re not getting the satisfaction they want from their partner on a purely physical level.
As a result, a cheater may turn to another person who can provide them with what they need to meet the requirements.
8. Cheating is a form of control over another person
Some people struggle with issues of dominance and tyranny. It’s possible that being subordinated to a superior will turn them off.
So they cheat to make things fair and to give themselves a sense of mastery and command. In their eyes, cheating is a way to show others that they are still in charge and in control.
9. Cheating always ends a relationship
A relationship can survive a cheater’s change of heart, according to the psychological facts surrounding cheating. You may feel as if your relationship with your partner has been shattered as a result of your partner spending the night with someone else.
And it’s justifiable, too. Because of the broken trust, it may seem impossible to rebuild it. The truth is that this is not the case, as you will soon discover.
It’s not uncommon to see relationships that have been damaged by affairs survive. After a breakup, many couples find themselves in a better place in their relationship than they were before.
As difficult as it may be to forgive someone who cheated on you, it’s necessary.
The psychology of cheating and lying shows us that cheaters don’t have to remain cheaters for the rest of their lives, so it is possible to rebuild trust in any dynamic, even if the cheater has previously been unfaithful.
10. Cheating is a sign of distress
It is possible for someone to feel disrespected or that they are being manipulated in the relationship. Several aspects of their relationship are unsatisfactory, and they can’t bear it any longer.
They may lose interest in the person they’re dating if their relationship lacks a healthy amount of harmony and affection, and turn to someone else who can provide it for them instead.
11. Cheating can be due to situational factors
Situational factors can also be the cause of cheating. Someone may be in a healthy relationship, but if they spend a lot of time around attractive people, they are more likely to have an affair than someone who isn’t.
12. Cheaters fear conflict
To avoid a fight with their partner, a cheater might resort to infidelity. There is a fear of conflict that prompts people to cheat, says Klapow. Although they are aware of the relationship’s issues, they are unsure of how best to address them.
Because of their cheating, they can get out of the situation. There are many ways to express one’s frustrations without having to face them head-on in a conversation that could be emotionally challenging.
Why Women Cheat? 7 Reasons Why
Keeping in mind the psychology of cheating helps us understand why someone cheats even when their partner has done all they can to show them love and treat them respectfully.
You can start by looking at the following:
- Women are more likely to cheat because they are unhappy in their relationship, whereas men are more likely to cheat because they are sexually motivated.
- If one or more key characteristics (education, income, religious views, attractiveness, interests, etc.) do not match, couples are more vulnerable to infidelity.
- Men are just as likely as women to cite emotional or sexual motivations if their primary relationship lacks either.
Make a note of any points that stand out to you as you read through the article These facts, even if they apply to your situation, do not justify or excuse cheating. To put it another way, the goal here is to gain a better understanding of the subject matter.
Below are why your girlfriend or wife is cheating on you:
1. She has a feeling of being taken advantage of or unwanted.
Your wife or partner is likely to cheat because she felt being unwanted, taken advantage of, or being neglected. She should be seen as more than that.
She needs to know that you care about her, not just what she can do for you. She doesn’t assume that you still care about her in the way she needs to be cared for.
2. She’s lonely and feels emotionally connected.
In addition, she’s lonely and longs for emotional ties with another person. We are all humans and are wired to connect.
You’ll find it more difficult to say no to the other person’s requests for physical and emotional intimacy if her bond with them grows stronger than it does with you.
Emotional relationships can easily turn into physical ones if there is a strong mutual attraction.
3. Her self-esteem is low.
This could be a new development or a long-standing problem for her, and if the passion in your relationship has faded, she may feel unattractive to you.
As a result, if someone comes along and gives her encouragement and support, she is more likely to bond with that person. In addition, there is the temptation of mutual attraction.
4. She’s been dishonest before.
Your relationship may be in jeopardy if her previous relationships have been tainted by infidelity. That being said, her previous infidelity does not guarantee a repeat performance.
Consider the reasons why she cheated rather than her actions. Repeating the same events in your relationship is a far more reliable indicator of a bad relationship. It’s not really about the circumstances if she’s a serial cheater.
5. Her family has a long history of cheating.
There’s a good chance she’d be more likely to cheat on her own significant other if she knew one or both of her parents had done it.
To put it another way, don’t focus on the past. She might try to figure out why her parents cheated on her. The only reason why she might cheat is if she sees it as a natural part of her identity.
6. Her success has altered the relationship.
If you ask her about her social life, you’ll learn that she’s surrounded herself with people who make more money than you do in a career she loves.
In the same way that you may feel isolated, she may think you prefer to complain about your job situation (and about her) rather than take action to improve your life or relationship. She could also be drawn to a coworker who has similar goals.
7. She has a habit of breaking rules and taboos.
There’s a chance she doesn’t believe in long-term sexual commitment or monogamy at all. If you accuse her of having sex with someone else, she’ll likely remind you of this. She sees sex as a natural craving.
Monogamy, on the other hand, seems as bizarre to her as a lifelong diet of only one kind of food.
Contrary to popular belief, cheating does not lead to the end of every relationship. You and your partner deserve to find a better path forward, one filled with forgiveness and peace, no matter what decision you make.
Cheating is sometimes quite complicated, and the thoughts that go along with infidelity often are too. Whether confident or self-conscious, voracious or unsatisfied, cheaters use their psychology to rationalize their actions just like anyone else.
And perhaps understanding these thoughts may also help you better understand their actions.