How To Set Relationship Goals? (7 Steps)

In life’s profoundness, love seems to be the one that outshines all human attributes. When people fall in love, it seems everything around us attracts happiness that powers up our mood.

We don’t care if we are facing everyday problems, as long as we’re in love we face life’s reality with compassion and go with its flow. 

No matter what kind of love you have, puppy love, young love, true love, or real love, if you want your relationship to last till your last breath, you and your partner have to make a relationship goal.

In setting up the goals of a relationship, the couple must; Discuss their relationship in a neutral setting, track the time and date of each goal making it attainable, and at least make some fun goals. 

In this article, we will discuss how to set relationship goals. Also, we will be giving 8 examples of relationship goals you and your partner should try. Continue reading if you want to spice up your relationship down to ever-lasting love.

7 Steps On Setting A Relations Goals

7 Steps On Setting A Relations Goals

Relationship goals are those things that you want to accomplish with your partner, learn from, or appreciate more.  Setting goals for your relationship as a whole rather than as a couple has a lower success rate.

If you and your partner both have a strong desire to grow, these should be focused on areas where you both see room for improvement that you both feel optimistic about working on because it will strengthen your relationship.

To have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to set goals. You know why this is important, and you have a few couples of goals in mind that you’d like to talk about with your partner. 

You can use goals to help you and your partner grow as a couple, no matter if you’ve just started a new relationship or you’ve been in a long-term relationship for some time.

In a relationship, goals can strengthen the bond between the two people involved, help resolve conflict, and lead to a greater sense of satisfaction.

Now, it’s time to sit down and talk about what you want in a relationship with your partner. The following are the steps for setting relationship goals with your partner.

Step 1: Discuss your relationship goals in a neutral setting

Find a place like the living room or kitchen table where you can talk about your relationship goals. In case you’re living apart, find a place at each of your places that makes you feel at home and safe.

If it’s possible, having this talk outside in a quiet park or a backyard could be ideal. To be open and honest with your partner, choose a place where you can be alone.

Step 2: How long it will take to achieve each relationship goal

Make sure you give each goal enough time to be done but don’t set goals so far out that you can’t see progress. This may be your first time setting goals with your partner.

If so, you might want to set some goals for three months, six months, and a year. Relationship goals can take a long time, but not all of them have to be year-long projects.

Step 3: Set a date to check how things are going for each relationship goal

Keep your relationship goals in mind and don’t just write them down and then forget about them. It doesn’t mean you should stop working on your relationship goals because you know it will take a year to reach a certain goal.

Make it a goal to talk about your relationship goals with your partner every week or every two weeks. This way, you and your partner will keep working together to reach your goals.

Step 4: At least one fun relationship goal should be in there

To-do lists don’t have to be a pain. Make it a goal to have at least one fun goal that you both want to achieve. Simple things like having a weekly date night, flirting more, or getting dressed up for each other more often can help you and your partner.

A goal you both want to reach makes it more fun, exciting, and less like work.

Step 5: Check to see if your relationship goals can be reached

Say that one of your relationship goals is to communicate better with each other. Talk about how each goal will be measured and agree on what it means to each of you when you write down your relationship goals.

People who want to improve their relationships will find it easier with this in mind.

Step 6: Take a look at how your love goals make you feel

Afterward, read through your relationship goals list with your partner and talk about how each one would make you feel. As each of you meets these goals, it should make you feel good, not stressed or tired.

That doesn’t mean that it won’t be hard to reach these relationship goals. It just means that you and your partner both see the value in working hard to achieve them together.

Step 7: Make sure that your goals are all the same weight

This is a list of things your partner wants to do together. In an ideal situation, both you and your partner should have a say in how your relationship goals are written down.

There are a lot of relationship goals on this list that are important to one person but not to the other. It will be hard to work together to achieve them as a group.

8 Relationships Goals You and Your Partner Should Try

8 Relationships Goals You and Your Partner Should Try

We can all think of at least one couple who are role models when it comes to achieving our romantic goals. Even a celebrity couple with a hectic schedule could be an example of a long-term relationship that you admire.

Even if you and your partner are compatible, it’s not enough to keep you together. Building strong interpersonal relationships requires a lot of effort on the back end. You can use this to your advantage when it comes to your relationship goals.

If you’re stuck on how to set your own goals, here are some examples.

1. Know each other’s love language

Understanding your partner’s love language is a great place to start when it comes to love in a relationship. Gary Chapman created the Five Love Languages. When he discovered that couples struggled to feel and express love, he divided the themes into five love languages:

  • Physical touch
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Gifts
  • Words of affirmation

Chapman discovered that couples could better communicate their needs and understand each other if they had a common language for receiving and expressing love. 

Most experts agree that each of us has our own personal “love language”, a style of communication that helps us express and receive affection.

To put it another way, if you don’t know your partner’s love language, you may feel ignored because they aren’t speaking your language. Make it a priority to learn each other’s love languages and to do things for each other that are meaningful to you.

2. Fair fight

Disagreements in intimate relationships are unavoidable, but how one partner responds to those disagreements can make or break the relationship.

If you’re reading this article on relationship goals because you’ve put in enough time and effort into your relationship, congratulations.

Make a list of the things that you and your partner will and will not tolerate in a fight. Hang this list somewhere where you can see it whenever you need a reminder of what you and your partner agreed to do in the event of a conflict.

3. Schedule a weekly date night

Time is valuable. Even if you live together and see each other regularly, dedicating a certain amount of time without distractions once a week has greatly improved and strengthened relationships. A weekly date night is an excellent way to keep your relationship strong.

The National Marriage Project found that couples who scheduled a weekly date night had happier marriages, lower divorce rates, and more satisfying sexual lives. Something to think about when making your relationship goals list.

4. Maintain the physical connection

When setting goals, don’t forget about physical touch. Physical intimacy in a relationship has many advantages. Oxytocin, a feel-good love hormone that reduces stress and does a slew of wonderful things for us, is released when you physically touch the person you love.

Hold each other’s hands, cuddle, or lean on each other to stay physically connected.

5. Better communication

When creating your list of relationship goals, consider how you and your partner communicate. It’s a wonderful thing that your relationship will never be the same. Your relationship evolves along with you as a person and your circumstances change.

That’s why it’s so critical that you and your partner talk about your relationship regularly.

Ask yourself what you love about your relationship, reflect on the past and what you’ve accomplished together, and always keep your eye on the future and the goals you’ve set for yourself and your loved one. Ensure that you prioritize communication.

6. Place equal value on ‘Together’ and ‘Alone’ times

It’s easy to spend all of your time together in the early stages of your relationship. Every aspect of your relationship is brand new, and you’re eager to learn everything there is to know one another.

A certain point in the relationship is when it becomes clear that spending all of your time together isn’t healthy, so you both need some time apart to refuel. It’s crucial to spend time alone. It doesn’t imply that you don’t want to spend time with each other anymore.

Spending time alone recharges your batteries, helps you maintain a sense of individuality, provides breathing space, and encourages a closer relationship when you do spend time together.

7. Support each other

The goal of supporting your partner goes beyond simply being there for them.

Prioritizing support in your relationship means developing the ability to ask and understand what kind of support your partner needs, depending on what they’re going through, and then follow through on it.

If you want your relationship to succeed, it is important to incorporate support.

 8. Doing new things together 

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut in a relationship when you’re just going through the motions of your daily activities. Don’t be afraid of trying new things together, like going on a new adventure or taking turns picking what you want to do. 

Write down all the things you want to do and add to it as and when you have ideas for new activities. Make a list of things you’d like to accomplish together, and cross them off as you go.


When you set relationship goals, you have to put in a lot of time and effort. Even if you start small, setting goals with your partner will make your relationship better in the end.

The best way to make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to love goals is to make sure that you both know how you’ll get there and how you’ll keep track of your progress. Make sure you enjoy working on relationship goals. It should be worthwhile and fun.

Joe Davies