Have you caught up in yourself crying while arguing? You just seem not able to contain those bubbling emotions that wanted to burst in the form of tears. Do you wanna know how to not cry during an argument?
You are always in a situation where with too much information, remorse, disgust, hate, and unknown feelings you will just cry during an argument.
Of course, no one likes crying in arguments. You don’t like crying. Crying in an argument feels like people look down on you, saying you’re weak, you’re guilty, and you’re just rounded with your feelings and not the situation.
Maybe half of it is true, we cry because of the pain that has been pierced as a direct aim to our mind and heart. But how do you not cry when arguing?
Tilting your head, blinking, pinching yourself, recognizing your triggers, and knowing your sensitive side are some ways to not cry during an argument.
As a person who cries over an argument, try to use a safe word, have the ability to self-soothe, and prepare yourself for a tough conversion.
As normal as it is to show real emotions when you’re angry, crying during a fight isn’t always the best thing to do.
Continue reading this article, if you are done with yourself crying every time there’s an argument. Take these steps to learn how to not cry during an argument and keep the tears from coming when you don’t want to share them.
When Upset, Why Do We Cry?
You can’t remember the last time you burst into tears like this. Whenever you’re upset, you can’t help but cry in an argument. So, why do you cry when someone tells you something you don’t like?
Crying during an argument is not a sign of weakness. Keeping our emotions in check isn’t something we’re born with. Shedding a few tears is the right thing to do. However, below are the reasons why you cry when you’re upset and during an argument:
- You’re a sensitive individual.
- You’re exhausted, hungry, or otherwise worn out.
- You’re already anticipating the sobs.
- Your conversation partner isn’t playing by the rules (undermines and belittles you).
- You’re feeling particularly vulnerable right now.
More than one of these factors may interfere with your efforts to hold back the tears. The more you have to deal with it, the more difficult it becomes.
Our bodies’ built-in alarm system, Diffuse Physiological Arousal, or DPA, alerts us to perceived threats or danger.
It played a significant role in protecting our species over time, however, it is not always able to distinguish between a genuine threat to our lives and an emotional experience.
DPA causes your heart to race and your body to release adrenaline. “Emotional flooding,” is the term used according to researcher John Gottman.
Its consequences can be aggravating, primarily because it can obstruct your ability to make a point. You may experience an outburst of rage or feel compelled to scream. You might cry with some people, especially if you’re a highly sensitive person.
You can’t think rationally when you’re flooded, so you don’t communicate effectively or listen well. When you’re having a disagreement over something that means a lot to you, it’s natural to cry while speaking.
However, if it’s preventing you from even speaking and leaving you gasping for air, you should seek treatment.
11 Ways To Stop Your Tears While Arguing
You try to avoid confrontations and disagreements because they make you cry. Crying can take you from standing on an equal footing with your opponent to simply handing over the ball and the entire situation where you need to stand up for yourself.
The most common cause of angry tears is hurt, embarrassment, betrayal, or being treated unfairly. Tearful crying is a uniquely human activity, according to scientists, and it may have evolved as a distress signal to summon help and prompt others to help.
Below are the following ways you can stop yourself from crying in an argument.
1. Recognize Your Triggers
Firstly, it’s not a good time to engage in a difficult conversation if you’re tired, hungry, thirsty, or emotionally spent in any way. You require energy. Some of the common triggers are listed below, find you yours! Some of these could be universal or personal.
- Your blood sugar is low because you haven’t eaten in a while.
- You need to use the restroom.
- You’re thirsty.
- You didn’t get a good night’s sleep or late in the day, and you’re tired.
- You’re exhausted and your body seems to be fighting something.
- You’re jittery from too much caffeine and/or tense in preparation for a fight.
- Your hormones are out of whack, and you’re feeling a lot more emotional than usual.
While you can’t wait for ideal circumstances, you can try to avoid your biggest triggers before a difficult conversation.
2. Know Your Sensitive Side
You process positive and negative input more thoroughly than the average person if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you’re more likely to be overwhelmed by sensations and emotions if you have this tendency.
Your high sensitivity does not make you stronger or weaker than others. It simply means you feel more, which makes controlling your emotions more difficult. What’s the bright side? You have an advantage when it comes to mindful enjoyment of things.
However, it makes you more likely to cry during a disagreement. What should I do? Close your eyes and take a deep breath if you find yourself crying. Count to ten and then wait until you feel more in control of your emotions before responding.
3. Tilt Your Head
You’re in the middle of a heated argument when tears well up in your eyes and it is not because you’re hurt, but you’re angry. And you don’t want them to get the wrong idea about how you’re feeling.
You certainly don’t require sympathy at the time of argument. You want to get everything out without blubbering.
To stop yourself from crying, allow the tears to flow back into your tear ducts and lower lids by tilting your head back. Take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of your nose until you regain your composure.
Make it appear as if you’re holding back your tears rather than your rage. Then, instead of crying, speak slowly and calmly, focusing on the words.
4. Blink Your Eyes
Blinking is used to sweep the eye and return it to its normal state, so it makes sense that blinking too much will help you stop crying.
Tear drainage, which is an active process mediated by the contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle, is also aided by blinking. With each blink, tears collect at the medial canthal angle, aided by the medial movement of the lower lid.
More blinking, in essence, aids in the drainage of tears – so do it. When you want to hold your tears from swooning your face during an argument, you can try the blinking technique.
5. Pinch yourself
The most common way people stop themselves from crying is to administer pain. Something to get your brain to concentrate on the sensation of pain rather than the sensation of crying.
But, before you start carrying a peg in your pocket to pinch yourself discreetly, keep in mind that pain isn’t the only way to distract yourself.
Changing our emotional state requires shifting the conversation, our mindset, and our body movements. Using the brain’s feelings to change our thoughts allows us to divert our attention away from the original topic.
Lifting our heads, bringing our shoulders back, and making eye contact are simple body movements that can help us reset and start over.
So vigorously shake your head, swing your arms, tickle your palm, whatever it takes to keep your brain from sending the cry signals. Pinch if necessary, but not too hard.
6. Recognize and Accept Your Emotions
Even if it’s just to yourself, be honest about how you’re feeling. Recognize your feelings without passing judgment on them. You aren’t “weak,” “dramatic,” or “overly sensitive“. Something is bothering you, accept that and your feelings aren’t the enemy here.
Ignoring your emotions and refusing to accept them does nothing to alleviate the pain that a person is causing you. Recognize and accept your emotions, and it is okay to cry sometimes when arguing. It’s like a breather for you to express more of yourself.
7. Prepare For Tough Conversations
This goes back to step 1, remember to be aware of your triggers. Make sure you’re not hungry or too full, and that you’re hydrated and at ease. It’s best to have some idea of what to expect and how you’ll handle a difficult conversation before you start one.
Know what you want to achieve and plan to achieve it or get as close to it as possible. Expect things to go wrong but don’t let fear of the worst-case scenario hold you back. You’ll have to jump in at some point.
8. Use A Safe Word
Choose a safe word that you can both use if you need a moment to gather your thoughts.
You should never be ashamed of using this word in front of them. It’s not about strength or weakness whether you use it or not; it’s about knowing what you need at the moment and loving yourself enough to listen.
9. Drink Water
You’ve probably seen people give speeches and then become verklempt and overwhelmed. They don’t want to cry in front of a large group of people. So, what exactly do they do? Reach for the podium’s handy glass of water.
Taking a sip of water buys you time and diverts your focus away from your feelings. It also allows you to wipe your nose or eyes if needed. The key is to be prepared ahead of time by keeping a glass of water and a tissue close by.
10. Develop The Ability To Self-Soothe
To find out which self-soothing techniques work best for you, try the following:
- Counting 5-4-3-2-1
- Inhale, Exhale Method
- Use a fidget or squeeze a stress ball.
- Relax the muscles in your face
- Hug your own body
This will most likely involve trial and error, with you trying one self-soothing technique and then switching to another if it doesn’t work as well as you’d hoped. Diverting some of your attention to self-soothing techniques, on the other hand, can help you relax a little.
11. Walk Away
Stopping yourself from becoming agitated and breaking down can be as simple as walking away from the situation. Taking a break and returning when calmer can help a person regain their composure after becoming overly enraged, upset, or frustrated.
Who Cries More?
Researchers have found that crying makes your body produce two chemicals that can help you relax after a stressful event. These chemicals are oxytocin and prolactin, which can lower your heart rate and help you relax.
But crying isn’t always a way to make yourself feel better. In this case, your mood is likely to get better. If, on the other hand, you cried and felt ashamed or embarrassed about it, the tears probably won’t have made you feel better about yourself.
Children are more likely to cry than adults, and women are more likely than men to cry. A review of research from this year has been put together. Women may cry four or five times a month, but men may only cry once or not at all at the same time.
We also cry because of things that happen in our lives that make us sad or happy, but we also cry because of things that happen every day.
If women cry more angry tears than men do, it may be because, in the United States and many other Western countries, women are often taught to show more positive emotions and hide feelings that people think are bad, like anger.
If avoiding feelings is your top priority, you may find yourself with less capacity to truly devote yourself to your partner and the conversation.
Allow yourself to experience emotions. Label your feelings, accept them, and then make an internal decision about how you want to express them.
If you think you’re crying too much or your crying is getting in the way of your daily life, you should get help and advice from a doctor or nurse.
You should not try to hide your tears, bury your emotions, or suffer alone because crying can be a good way to let your feelings out and make you feel much better.