How To Be Your Best Self In A Relationship (13 Ways)

How to be your best self in a relationship with someone. Each time one of the partners has a bad day or a good day, that changes his or her moods.

To have a good relationship, both partners need to check in with each other every so often. They need to see how things are going and make changes if needed.

To be the best in your relationship, tell your partner about your feelings, be humble,  make time for each other, express gratitude, and when your partner goes off the rails, stay calm.

Also, don’t forget about yourself, self-care is important, avoid getting hungry, have enough sleep, and be confident in your abilities

Nothing is constant in a relationship, one day you think she or he is the one for you then the next thing, she or he annoys you. Make sure that you are doing what you can to make you and your partner happy.

So many relationship issues have very little to do with the relationship itself.


A lot of scientific evidence backs up the idea that each person in a relationship is in charge of making sure it is healthy.

To be your best self in a relationship, follow the guide below. 

13 Ways To Be Your Best Self In A Relationship

13 Ways To Be Your Best Self In A Relationship

Chicago psychotherapist Susan Adler has come to this conclusion, that many of the so-called relationship problems she observes are due to the individuals’ issues, after years of working with couples.

Most people have blind spots. Instead of seeing how your unhappiness stresses your relationship, you blame your relationship for your unhappiness then you get mad.

Try to get even, then you wonder why things go wrong. You might still be a couple, but you’re no longer a team after the exposure of the potent blend of blame, resentment, and retaliation.

You could all benefit from stronger, more intimate bonds. These are difficult times and during these times you and your partner can motivate each other and work on things out, be more thoughtful and loving versions of yourselves.

When you’re in your best self, you show that you care about yourself and believe that who you are is sufficient.

Here are 13  ways to get to a point where you can be the best person while you are in a relationship.

1. Have enough sleep

Sleep is at the top of the list when it comes to taking care of yourself and your relationship. Sleep deprivation not only affects your energy, mental alertness, and mood, but it also lowers your glucose levels, affecting your self-control. 

Also, self-control is important in relationship success: people with more self-control are better able to respond to their partners in constructive ways, and the more self-control a couple has, the better their relationship quality is.

2. Tell your partner about your feelings

When your partner fails to meet your expectations or disappoints you in some way, it’s natural to be angry or upset. Anger is like the bodyguard of emotions.

Many of us rely on it to act as a buffer between us and our more difficult, unsettling emotions. We use anger to push away our hurt, sadness, and vulnerability, and in doing so, we end up pushing away the people we love the most.

Stop yourself from launching an attack the next time your partner does something that makes you angry. Instead, try to separate yourself, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What am I feeling beneath all of this anger?” 

Let your partner know what’s going on after you’ve had some time to settle down. Anything other than frustration or anger can bring you close and help you start a conversation rather than a fight.

3. Take action

Relationship happiness is influenced by specific behaviors. These behaviors are often unintentional, but making conscious efforts to engage in them can be beneficial to relationships.

According to research by Stafford, these seven behaviors can predict relationship satisfaction. Here are the seven behaviors:

  • Positivity
  • Understanding
  • Giving assurance
  • Self-disclosing
  • Openness
  • Involve in family and friends

4. Avoid getting hungry

Dietary changes are frequently part of new plans for physical health and wellness, but do everything you can to avoid hunger. According to new research, restricting one’s diet can harm the quality of one’s relationships.

When you’re hungry, you’re more likely to act irrationally; in relationships, these “hangry” moments don’t help your relationship thrive.

5. Make an effort to be humble

Maintaining a healthy ego can help your relationship. Not only are humble people viewed more favorably as potential relationship partners, but humility also appears to be a key component of relationship success.

Its link to forgiveness, a powerful tool for healthy relationships, may help improve relationships.

 6. Make “I would love it” statements

It’s no secret that communicating your needs is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship, but how you go about doing so is equally important. Let’s say you’re at your wit’s end because your partner is canceling date night yet again due to a late work commitment.

Instead of nagging and ranting tell your partner what you want him or her to do by telling what you want to happen. 

There is a catch to this strategy. Making statements like “I would love it and try avoiding saying mean and hurtful statements” like “I would love it if you would stop being such a jerk or I would love it if you would have cleaned the kitchen yesterday”.

That is not a compliment; it is a criticism. Concentrate on moving forward and remaining optimistic. This is how you prepare yourself, your partner, and your relationship for success. This is how your requirements are met.

7. Make time for each other

Much anecdotal evidence suggests that spending more time together improves relationship satisfaction, but research on whether time increases satisfaction or whether relationship satisfaction increases time spent together has only recently been conducted. 

Although long-distance couples spend less time together, long-distance relationships have no different relationship quality. The findings suggest that rather than focusing on the quantity of time spent with our partner, we should focus on the quality of our time together.

8. Self-care is important

Start by being kind to yourself to be the best partner you can be. Self-compassion is proving to be a great foundation for a healthy relationship. It is the practice of being gentle with oneself when one experiences failure, inadequacy, or imperfection.

Self-compassion is linked to behaviors that lead to healthier relationships, such as providing care and concern for a partner. 

9. Know yourself

Knowing who you are and being present with yourself are the first steps toward being the best in your relationship. Self-reflection is the first step toward living a life that is true to yourself.

However, spend some time alone assessing what would be best for you, your energy, your time, and your interests.

Take the time to get in touch with your wants and needs because you can’t do right by others if you can’t do right by yourself.

10. Express gratitude

It’s one thing to be grateful, but it’s quite another to express it to your partner. It turns out that expressing gratitude is associated with positive partner perceptions and a willingness to voice relationship concerns, which aids in the maintenance of healthy relationships.

11. Learn the art of surrendering

Desire and attachment are thought to be the source of suffering in the Buddhist tradition. Non-attachment is emphasized in Buddhist teachings, and it doesn’t just apply to material possessions.

Letting go of attachment to the outcome has a significant impact on one’s well-being. People are often so afraid of what will happen if they show their true self in their relationship that they hide it and try to be someone they are not.

You have no control over how others perceive you. All you have to do now is put yourself out there and trust that your partner and situations will find their way into your life. Relax and do what comes naturally to you.

Keep in mind that those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

12. When your partner goes off the rails, stay calm.

Your partner will eventually act inappropriately; they’ll be irritable, grumpy, unreasonable, testy, argumentative, prickly, you name it. It’s only natural to want to respond in kind. Resist the urge, and remind yourself that fight with him or her or you can make a different choice.

Challenge yourself to be helpful, patient, caring, and kind. All of these things, according to research, make relationships happier. Instead of yelling, take a breath, and say, ‘I’m so sorry you’re upset’. If you’re being helpful, there’s nothing to fight about.

The hallmark of a good relationship is when only one person goes insane at a time. The more you can demonstrate the advantages of remaining calm when your partner isn’t, the more likely it is that your behavior will influence your partner to do the same when you’re in a tangle.

 13. Be confident in your abilities

When you live your life authentically, you attract like-minded people. These bonds help you grow as a person and push you to be the best version of yourself.

The Hebrew word for marriage means fire because relationships are supposed to be a source of friction and heat. It will test and refine you until all of your worst parts are burned away.

This metaphor can be used to describe any relationship and who helps you feel good about yourself and the world you’ve created.

They assist you in achieving your full potential. When your actions are in true alignment with who you are, your business, health, and intimacy become more vibrant.

Final Thoughts

While these techniques can be extremely effective, these skills aren’t for everyone.

Finally, these steps are about increasing opportunities for connection and communication, avoiding acting from a place of irritation and anger, and recognizing how your stresses and worries may be affecting your relationship.

When we take responsibility for one another and value one another.

How To Be Your Best Self In A Relationship
Joe Davies