How To Be Independent In A Relationship (13 Ways)

The best part of being in a relationship is getting spoiled by our significant other.  Being treated like a celebrity isn’t something anyone can resist.

One of the hallmarks of being in love is a desire to spend every day with that special someone. Sometimes, some of us want the freedom to do things on our own accord.

But, how do I become independent while still in a healthy relationship?

Being honest about desiring independence in a relationship is the first step to being independent.

Then, set your priorities, get new interests, recognize and respect your partner’s viewpoint, and hold on to your dreams. If it is needed, you can take a relationship break and learn to prioritize yourself. 

If you are in a healthy and loving relationship but want to taste independence then you are in the right article.

Here, we will tackle the ways on how to be independent in a relationship without losing sight of your partner and ruining your relationship. 

How To Be Independent In A Relationship

How To Be Independent In A Relationship

“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.”

In a relationship, it’s critical to maintain one’s sense of autonomy. Relationships that work allow both partners to develop as individuals while also allowing them to grow together.

Both of you must have a strong sense of self-reliance while also knowing you can rely on the other. 

Your relationship will be affected if you give up your independence and give up the things that used to bring you joy.

Depending on the context, there are many different ways to define independence in a relationship. Independence in a relationship does not imply dominating your special someone in any way.

In a romantic relationship, here are ways how to be independent:

1. Be honest about your desire for independence. 

Keeping your partner in the loop and reassured about your plans to remain self-sufficient is essential.

Talk to your partner about why you want to be independent and remind them that you’re still committed to the relationship.

Keep in mind that you don’t want to offend your partner by saying something that isn’t true. Imagine what it would be like to hear this conversation from someone you care about.

Because you want to spend less time with them, they may think it’s their fault and blame you. Healthy relationships are built on the foundation of open and honest communication about everything.

2. Get a new interest

Each of you should have some time to do your own thing now and then, even if you’re in a long-term relationship.

It will give you new topics to discuss and help you appreciate the time you spend together.

Consider taking up a new pastime or going out and meeting new people to expand your social circle.

3. Carry out a solo activity

While it’s always fun to share adventures with your partner, you should also make an effort to have some alone time.

Schedule time for yourself to do something you enjoy and that gives you energy regularly. Then you can have some hobbies or interests that you can share with your partner when you get back.

This keeps things interesting in your relationship and allows you both to grow.

4. Set your priorities

To be truly independent, you must be able to maintain a distinct identity that is distinct from your relationship and its effects.

Never lose sight of the kind of person you want to become; your relationship should never come at the expense of your personal goals.

It’s a good idea to periodically check in with close family and friends to see if you’re still being the kind of person you want to be.

As soon as you find yourself no longer satisfied with who you are, it may be a sign that something needs to change.

5. Recognize and respect your partner’s viewpoint

A healthy relationship requires equal investment from both partners. Encourage your partner to maintain their sense of self-identity while pursuing their independence and autonomy.

Tell your partner it’s okay to spend time with friends and family, go to movies or concerts without you, or have different hobbies.

Establish expectations for independence in the partnership. Codependent conventions will make it difficult to foster independence in both partners.

Learning to recognize, understand, and accept the other person’s point of view, especially when it differs from your own, is a great way to establish independence.

6. Not everything should be shared

Of course, at first, you want to share everything with your partner. It’s normal. Name it hormones, eagerness, happiness, or the first stirrings of love. Why learn anything if you tell everyone everything about yourself right away?

If your partner knows everything about you after a couple of dates, it’s impossible to have a meaningful relationship.

Being self-reliant includes retaining some of one’s identity. You and your partner should not feel obligated to divulge every detail about yourself.

The act of cataloging and regurgitating each person’s every move is borderline stalkerish and does neither side any good.

7. Learn to be interdependent rather than codependent

In a relationship, being interdependent means that you and your partner work well together, but you also work well on your own.

When a person is codependent, he or she believes that he or she is not capable of functioning on his or her own. 

As a result, she or he loses parts of herself or himself in fear of losing the relationship.

It’s fine to be in a relationship with someone, but that doesn’t mean you have to be completely reliant on them.

If you rely on someone else for all of your wants and needs, your relationship isn’t considered healthy.

8. Consider your core principles

To please your partner, you should never change your values. While it’s natural for people to change on their own, you don’t want to do so because your partner is pressuring you.

To be in a relationship, don’t give up your core values. Determine what matters most to you and keep it in mind at all times.

9. Spend time with family and friends

Spend some time with your friends and family. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to stop seeing your other friends and rely on your partner for social interaction.

To help you maintain your independence, schedule regular visits with friends and family.

When your relationship hits a rough patch, your friends and family will be there to support you and keep you grounded.

Keep in mind that they adore you for who you are. Spend time with your friends as well as your partner’s mutual friends to maintain your unique sense of identity.

10. Decide what matters most to you besides your relationship

Your significant other is an important part of your life, but it shouldn’t be the only important thing. Focus on other aspects of your life that are more important than your relationship.

Whatever you choose to focus on will serve as a helpful reminder that life is about more than just your partner. Happiness, whether or not your partner is present, is essential.

11. Take a relationship break

Whenever you feel the need to distance yourself from a partner, you should do so. Although you’re in a relationship, you still need to take care of your own needs.

Don’t be afraid to take a break from being in a relationship when you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to take care of yourself.

This is more of a mental break than anything else, so take as long as you need. Self-worth and independence are greatly enhanced when you can be by yourself, away from your partner.

The company of your partner will become more appealing to you if you are absent for an extended period.

Before embarking on a mini-vacation on your own, be sure to talk to your partner first. In a strange twist of irony, your partner should encourage you to maintain your independence.

 12. Hold on to your dreams

Dreams are the ones that keep us going in this cruel life. They define us and inspire us. While in a relationship, you should not give up your dreams.

Having dreams and desires both inside and outside the relationship is the foundation of a truly good and loving relationship. 

It’s important to know that you have each other’s back if you need it. In the end, your dreams define you.

You should reconsider your relationship if your partner insists on sacrificing your wishes for their own.

 13. Love Yourself

You can’t be independent unless you are who you are. Something is wrong if your partner forces you to change your hairstyle, wardrobe, and interests to fit their expectations.

Loving your special someone for who they are is the same. A relationship is unfair to both parties if they are forced into a narrow mold. 

There is no way to be both yourself and someone else. One of the most important relationships to maintain is your relationship with yourself.

If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, no other relationship will work out. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you deserve to be loved. You must look after your own needs.


How To Be Independent In A Relationship - Conclusion

Your life should not revolve around your significant other, although being in a committed relationship is wonderful.

Spend some time alone, pick up a new hobby, and reflect on your life’s priorities other than your romantic relationship.

It’s time to discover your individuality while dating your partner.

Joe Davies